Handjobs

There are a few things that I hate when it comes to sex, bad head, a girl who can't ride, and handjobs. We will cover the other two later but HANDJOBS I don't see the appeal. Maybe if she is pulling it out as a preamble to other activities fine but why would I want you to jack me off, I can jack me off and do it better. It's like, I jerk off because I'm not getting laid I don't want someone else to do it. There are only 2 destinations for my dick my hand or a warm, wet hole that's it.
And speaking of warm, wet holes, bad head. Just because your first boyfriend from high school and every other ass you've dated told you you are good at it doesn't mean you are. And there are two types of bad head 1.) The girl who kicks around the head FAR too much, we get it, people call it head because lets face it its better than saying "hey baby suck my dick" some chicks don't mind you saying it but others may think that you think she is a whore, 2.) Girls who just put your cock in her mouth and that's it, I think it insults me as a guy to have to explain to you how to give proper head, ESPECIALLY when the dirty talk comes up and your bragging about your skills because I am going to think somebody lied to you. If I have any female readers heed my words WORK THE SHAFT, suck it for all you've got, get sloppy, do not fear the Reaper (yes. that's my cock) ask other girls I mean it comes up but if you feel a guy trying to move your head take the fucking hint. If a guy gave bad oral you'd tell him and I know you would but if we say something bad then ride fucking over. It's just common courtesy or bediquette (bed etiquette if you didn't get it, not playing you for stupid but some people).
Finally on my list girls who want to be on top but grind my nuts to a fine powder. Chickens can't fly and you madam cannot ride a dick. I mean okay some people don't mind the back and forth motion but when your sleeping with say a larger woman it causes friction and its uncomfortable I mean god bless her for trying but my pelvis is going to crack from this snu-snu. Personally I like the in and out motion but if you wanna ride feel free to move while we are in the doggy position save me some work but don't get me horizontal so you can go vertical and fuck it all up.
Strangely the last one is shorter. Probably because if I got through the first two and I am still erect then I don't care.Just God bless her for being there...on me.